Beauty / Kitchen / Reviews

Birchbox No. One: ModelCo, Oscar Blandi, Juicy Couture, One Love Organics & SOYJOY

After one of my writers wrote a wonderful article on Birchbox in the fashion section, I decided to sign up for this make-up of the month club. After my first shipment arrived earlier this week I realized I am hooked. Between the adorable packaging and proper-sized deluxe samples, I was and am completely sold. For $10 per month, this is mail worth paying for.

Never heard of Birchbox? For $10/month ($20 for men) Birchbox sends you a customized box of deluxe sample- (and sometimes full!) sized beauty and lifestyle items. If you love the items, you can order them from their website and get points– which equal free Birchbox $$– plus free shipping.

For the most part, I couldn’t be more thrilled with what came in my box, all listed and reviewed below. Care to check it out for yourself? Sign up here!

ModelCo FIBRE LASHXTEND Mascara: The highlight of  my first Birchbox experience is the amazing, incredible ModelCo mascara I ended up with. Maybe I’m out of the loop (part of the reason I signed up for Birchbox) but until this arrived I had never heard of ModelCo. I would have assumed it, shock, was a modeling company.

This mascara doesn’t feel like mascara when it is being applied or once it’s on; it just feels like your eyelashes. It removes cleanly but didn’t smear off during my oily-faced moments of overheated Black Friday shopping. There is no crunchy, crackly, fake or flaky feeling. It’s just an extension of your eyelashes, and it is amaaaazzziiinnngg. I can’t believe I might start buying 20-some-dollar mascara, but I also can’t imagine going back to the uncomfortable feeling of Covergirl.

Did I mention there is a mirror on the side of the tube for handy application? Brilliant.

Oscar Blandi Texture & Volume Spray:Don’t be turned-off by the weird (not necessarily bad, but totally bizarre) odor of this spray, as it honest-to-goodness did exactly what it said it would: it added texture and volume.

I’ve used it twice and each time my long, straight hair has gotten a slight Blake-Lively-esque kick. While I enjoy using it, I’m not sure if I would buy an entire can. It made my hair more prone to tangles and it looked dirty within a handful of hours. At the same time, I’ve never seen it go from flat to wonderfully fat so quickly.I’m still undecided about its long term practicality, but it is fun for now.

Juicy Couture Viva la Juicy La Fleur: I should preface by saying I’m not a perfume person. I am a migraine person, and being a migraine person means you hate most perfume-like scents. I actually enjoyed this perfume– a lot– because it was a watered-down version of that normal perfume smell I wish I could tolerate.

I spent several minutes smelling the Viva la Juicy La Fleur, trying to figure out how to describe it. Scent is a sense I am underdeveloped in describing. It smelled good, but that’s useless knowledge. It smelled like what I think a field of petite flowers would smell like: floral but not too sweet and natural without teetering on hippie.

One Love Organics Aromatic Body Serum in Rose: I’ve only ever liked one thing labeled “aromatic” before, as most smells give me a headache, piss me off or make me sad. The smell was almost too light in this body serum, which means it was perfect for me and probably dull for perfume-lovers.

The One Love serum soaked into my dry skin immediately and did not leave an oily reside, which was a huge surprise. Considering my elbows still feel pretty darn soft 24 hours and one shower later, I think the product might be a great buy. The only problem? Anything labeled serum means if it leaks– and it did– it’s a huge pain in the ass. And it was. It needs to be stored as they mailed it, which is in a small, seal-able bag. If it keeps moisturizing my skin like this it’s probably worth it. I can’t wait to use the One Love serum during one of my at-home spa nights.

SOYJOY Cranberry Snack Bar: Remember that scene in Elf where Buddy tries to drink coffee (ahem– go to 0:46)? Or when Garrett in Going the Distance eats his spray tan (you’re welcome)? That’s what eating a SOYJOY bar was like.

I really, really, really wanted to like it– if for no other reason than because it was free, but also because the name and packaging are cute and I like cranberries– and I was really excited to eat it; sadly, I only made it one nibble in before my body spat that shit back out like a cat being force-fed medication. The consistency was comparable to dry, uncooked bread or Silly Putty mixed with imitation cookie dough. Yeah. Think about that for a second. I’m right and, if you’ve had one, you know it.

While I don’t want to bash a product simply to bash it, I was actually shocked at how inedible I found it. I had tried and hated a SOYJOY bar once before, but it was the year they hit the market and I assumed they simply had to be better by now. Not the case. As I explained in my Birchbox review (which was pretty much a copy-and-pasted version of what’s above) the whole thing was a major bummer. SOYJOY left me feeling SOSAD (and SOSICK AND SUPERPISSED…)

When I batted my eyes at it’s awfulness, my peepers looked awesome thanks to the included ModelCo mascara. Birchbox may have missed the mark on the SOYJOY, but they excelled with the other items. And on the plus side, that SOYJOY was so bad it was actually funny.

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